When There's Trouble, You Call DW!
by Lt. Commander Hanna Tucker
Summary: "I'm the terror that flaps in the night! I'm the plunger that unclogs your toilet!" As Darkwing bellowed his usual monologue from somewhere in the shadows of the factory, Negaduck and Megavolt could only share a look. "Talk about asinine introductions." - (Darkwing Duck/Negaduck)


**A/N: Constructive criticism is appreciated- flames, on the other hand, are NOT. Don't like, don't read.**

* * *

_"I__'m_ the terror that _flaps_ in the night! _I'm_ the plunger that _unclogs_ your toilet!" As Darkwing bellowed his usual monologue from somewhere in the shadows of the factory, Negaduck and Megavolt could only share a look.

"Talk about asinine introductions," Negaduck muttered under his breath, whipping out a chainsaw from thin air and yanking on the cord. The machine sputtered, then snarled to life. The obsidian-caped villain then turned to Liquidator, who watched as Bushroot encouraged his newly planted and sprouted vines to tangle around the last of the crates.

"Liquidator," Negaduck drawled, a toothy smile spreading across his beak. "You know what to do."

"You want muscle for hire? Why settle for muscle," Liquidator asked no one in particular, smirking as he did so, "when you could have the service of one of the Earth's most powerful natural forces? Water!" Negaduck could only facepalm in annoyance. What was it with Liquidator and his _ridiculous_ advertising speeches anyway? And that was when "the terror that flaps in the night" finally decided to show his face.

_"I'm_ Darkwing Duck!" A cloud of smoke poofed into existence, revealing the purple-clad duck behind it as it dispersed.

"Nuh-uh!" Deadly sparks flickered from Megavolt's hands as he stepped towards the aforementioned hero. "You're not _Darkwing_ Duck..."

"... you're _Charred-wing Duck!"_ Liquidator finished as he leapt towards Darkwing, a bolt of Megavolt's electricity following closely behind.

"Yipe!"

Darkwing Duck jumped to the side, narrowly avoiding being hit. The left side of his body smacked painfully into the crate next to him, the wood leaking a threatening creak in response. Negaduck, shouting something incomprehensible (and no doubt foul) at Megavolt and Liquidator, swung his chainsaw towards Darkwing. The heroic duck let out an alarmed yelp, then quickly tucked and rolled as the roaring menace of a logging tool slashed open the crate behind him.

Meanwhile, Bushroot- who was panicking a bit now- was urging his vines to grow faster. "C'mon kids, you can do it!" He snuck a quick glance at his allies and flinched as Quackerjack earned himself a punch in the face from Darkwing. Or maybe it was Negaduck.

It was kind of hard to tell from where Bushroot was standing.

And in that very moment, things went from the usual coo-coo crazy to midsummer madness. First second, something huge practically _shattered_ the crystalline roof as it plummeted down towards the floor at nearly incalculable speeds. The next second, that same object- which the villains quickly realised was the Thunderquack- smashed into one of the very crates Bushroot's vines were trying to lift.

"My vines!" Bushroot cried out in horror at the scene.

For the moment, both hero and villain alike stopped fighting. The cockpit window flipped open and out of the semi-smoky wreckage stepped the culprit- Launchpad McQuack himself. The muscular duck hacked painfully as he waved smoke away from his beak. "Geez... talk about a classic Duckburg crash landing!"

"Launchpad?!" Darkwing Duck stared at his sidekick with a mixture of confusion and annoyance. "What are- what the heck are you doing here?"

Negaduck felt inclined to answer for him. "He's here to die alongside you, apparently," the red-hatted villain snarled, stepping towards the duo with his chainsaw in hand.

"Uh... guys?" All heads turned to Quackerjack, who was pointing towards the crate that Launchpad had crashed into. "Is it supposed to be _doing_ that?" Whatever was inside the wooden cube was comically jerking up and down as if it were a heavily caffeinated jumping bean. Sparks flew out from the thick oak seams, black smoke its companion.

"She's gonna blow!" Megavolt cried, diving for cover behind a rather conveniently placed fork lift truck.

Bushroot backed away from the scene, muttering under his breath, "I think this is my cue to _leaf!"_ The duck/plant mutant then scurried to safety, not sparing a though for his fellow Fearsome villains.

"You have got to be f-yeeeowch!"

The crate exploded, and one of the seams that said explosion catapulted collided with Negaduck's skull- effectively knocking him out cold.

* * *

Negaduck _hated_ headaches. He hated them with a vengeance that could only be rivaled by his hatred for one _Darkwing Duck._ Which was why as soon as he finally awoke and felt his head pounding, his bad mood fell even closer to full-blown rage.

By this point, three things had made themselves inherently clear to Negaduck.

First off, he positively _loathed_ the Fearsome Five. The idiots couldn't even handle a simple snatch and grab without royally screwing it up. Second, for some reason he was half-sitting, half-laying on a pile of hay. If that and the dull-brown wood walls weren't enough to confirm his assumption, a disapproving snort from the adjacent stall sure did. _Negaduck_ was in a freaking _barn_. This realisation only served to piss off the masked mallard further. He made a mental note to torch the place when he left. But what really blew his top off was the fact that _Darkwing Duck_ was there with him. The aforementioned hero was sprawled on the floor about a foot away from Negaduck, clearly unconscious. The villainous duck considered his options.

He_ could_ torch the place and leave Darkwing to be burnt into a scorched, crispy mess _or_ he could still torch the place and kill Darkwing when he wakes.

"As appealing as a duck flambe sounds," Negaduck growled, having made his decision and hoisting his arch enemy up over his shoulder, "I think I'd rather _watch_ as the light leaves your eyes when you die."


End file.
